10 Ways to Reduce Stress in 10 Minutes or Less

Sometimes we assume that changes have to be epic, and that we have to overhaul our entire lives in order to reduce our stress.  I disagree.  I believe that small changes add up to big changes over time, and that doing less can actually help us accomplish more.   Think of stress as weeds in a garden-if you get rid of them as soon as they pop up, they don’t get out of control.  Here are some quick ways to reduce stress-try one or two a day and notice how things can change:

 

1.  If you’re at home and you’re working on the computer, take a 5-10 minute break every hour.  Dance to one song or play with your dog. 

 2.  If you feel yourself becoming anxious or stressed, get grounded.  Pay attention to the feeling of your feet on the floor.  Listen to the sound of your breath.

 3.  Make a list of 5 things you stress about that you can't control.  Read the list, close your eyes and imagine putting those things into a red balloon and releasing it.  Mentally watch it fly away.  Decide you're not going to worry about stuff you can't control.

 4.  Mindfulness meditation is about nothing more than breathing and being present by clearing all the anxious thoughts.  It’s transformational.  7 minutes of meditation a day can do wonders.  Here’s a free meditation track to help you if you need it.

 5.  Make a list of everything you have going for you.  Things you’re grateful for, strengths, resources and accomplishments.

 6.  Stop working and hug your kids.

 7.  Step outside.  Stand and observe and look for something beautiful.

8.  Do something ridiculous-think of the funniest thing you’ve ever seen and giggle.  It has an amazing way of putting things in perspective.

 9.  Make a list of all the people who love you no matter what.  And then call one of them.

 10.   Listen to a song you love.  Close your eyes and stop thinking.  Enjoy the music.

How to Choose the Right Job or Career

I talk to so many people who are unhappy with where they are and who got there by thinking too much.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Many people are in careers that they chose because the forecasts were good for that industry, or their strengths or skill sets fit with the requirements.  This stuff isn’t bad, but in my opinion it’s not enough.   We're not really taught that there is any other way to go about it-but there is.

The gift (if there is one) of this new economic climate is that a lot of people are making a lot less money, and now feel liberated to take the risk of following a new career path.  The money and the busyness have, up to now, provided a buffer against feeling those nagging doubts that said, “is this IT?”  It’s actually exhilarating to start asking these questions-and discovering the answers.

The wonderful psychologist Carl Rogers said that if we get too concerned with the outside world and what society wants of us, we lose sight of what we truly, authentically want, and it can become difficult to access that information when we need it.   Here’s my quick and dirty list for getting back to basics and starting this exploration.

 

1)    Start a meditation/mindfulness practice.  Meditation is a daily practice in getting quiet with yourself and figuring out what you want most.  You’ll be shocked at the ideas and insights that pop up when you’re trying not to think.  Here's a free one I made to help my clients--feel free to use it.

 

2)    Go back over your resume and look at past jobs.  Which parts of each job did you enjoy the most?  Compile all these parts into a comprehensive list.  Put all these pieces together and you start to get a clearer version of what you like.

 

3)    Carry a journal or notebook with you every day.  Write down any ideas or insights that get you excited.  You’re not trying to figure out HOW-you’re just getting excited.

 

4)    Give yourself permission to think big.  Too often we shoot down our good ideas before they even have a chance to breathe and develop.  If you notice yourself being critical of yourself, and telling yourself why it can’t or won’t happen, say to yourself:  “I’m just brainstorming.”

 

5)    Here’s the most important thing:  look for the feeling of “rightness.”  You know the feeling:  everything in your body relaxes and you feel relieved.  The opposite of this feeling is when you think of something and you feel tense, tight, uncomfortable or, to use my academic word, yucky.  When you have ideas that feel right, write them down.

 

6)    Hang out with supportive, positive people.  Don’t hang out with the friends who tell you why your ideas will never work.  Odds are, they are unhappy and have a lot of thwarted dreams.  But that’s not your problem.

 

As a coach and therapist, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t have something, deep down, that makes them really, really happy.  It validates my belief in our inner goodness, every day.  I wish you the pleasure of discovering yours.  Remember, give yourself permission to believe that the universe is conspiring for good all around you, and to always, always trust your gut instinct.

Revolutionize Your Life, Change Your Schedule

My last blog entry was about accomplishing more by doing less (if you'd like to read that one first, click here). I'd like to focus on one aspect of this by talking a bit more about scheduling and time blocking.

Now, I want to preface all this by saying one thing: we are not trying to make you more efficient so that you can get 40 hours of work done in 16 hours a day. The whole point of this is to help you get more done so that you can spend less time working, and spend more time painting, writing poetry, snowboarding, cooking, or whatever it is that makes your heart sing. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the more time you spend doing stuff you love, the more effective you will be. Ever had a trainer tell you that your rest days are when your muscles change? It's the same with the brain. You're packing tons of information in there all week, but it's when you relax, unwind and completely shift your focus to something fun and compelling that your brain has the breathing space to sort it all out. You'll gain a broader perspective and get a whole lot more creative. You'll get great ideas. You'll be a visionary, not a drone. And the most important part is that you'll be a whole lot happier.

I can't tell you how many times a day people describe this cat herding scenario to me: going all day from task to task, responding to phone calls and email as they come in, starting one task, then remembering, mid-stream, that something else needs to be done, changing tasks, never going back to the first one. Exhausting-and it leaves one with a sense of frustration. I feel tired just typing it.

I try to base my work principles on a passage from the Tao te Ching that I'd like to share with you:

Express yourself completely,

then keep quiet.

Be like the forces of nature:

when it blows, there is only wind;

when it rains, there is only rain;

when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.

I see a few principles in here: a) speak the truth and the truth only b) do what you're doing, fully, without distraction and c)if you do that, the difficulty will pass. I interpret the last line as this: when you are willing to focus completely on something, even an unpleasant task, it will pass.

So this is lovely, esoteric stuff-how do we put it into play on a practical level? The first two may be familiar, as I included them in last's week's blog.

1) Meditation, yoga, or prayer. Start the day with it, even if it's for 5 minutes. Here's a free meditation track I made for my clients-feel free to use it if you need extra support.

2) Top three priorities. Each day, write them down and do them first, before anything else.

3) Time blocking. I am a huge, huge fan of time blocking, and recommend it to all my clients. Here's my quick and dirty system:

-Pick your main three categories of work per day, and put them in order of importance

-Decide how much time you want to spend on each over the course of the day (be realistic)

-Make a schedule-here's a hypothetical example of how it may look:
1 hour potential clients: return calls, mail introductory packages
3 hours current clients: correspondence, answering questions, etc.
3 hours marketing: social networking, answering email, brainstorming, calls

-Block off the schedule in your book, with a longish break in between blocks. For instance, after the first hour, you take a stretch break, after the second block, you take lunch, and after the third, you take a walk. Every hour, take short (5 minute) breaks-play with your dog, put on a song and dance, call someone you love, stretch. Breathe. Whatever resets you.

Here are the rules:

During each block, you are only allowed to work on those tasks. That means no social networking while you're dealing with potential clients. If you do all your potential client work in 30 minutes, you spend another 30 minutes creating better systems for dealing with potential clients. You stay fully in whatever you're doing. No excuses. It's going to take discipline at the beginning, and then it's going to get a lot easier.

No email during each time block, unless it's related to the task at hand. That means that if you are writing email to potential clients, and your email is ringing with new mail from Facebook, or current clients, you must ignore it and stay focused on the task at hand.

Here's a caveat, if you are in a profession where you must give IMMEDIATE responses, you can check email for 10 minutes on the hour, or some other system like that. I say this very reluctantly, because I have a difficult time imagining a situation where email can't wait for 2 hours. Sitting and responding to each email (or Facebook comment or Twitter update) that comes in, as it comes in, is a complete and utter waste of time. It also creates the expectation with your friends, clients, and colleagues that you are always available to them, without limits. I do not consider this to be a healthy expectation.

Try the time blocking-practice being fully present in whatever you're doing. It's revolutionary. You'll likely find you have a lot more time-and a greater sense of accomplishment when you leave work earlier and go play your guitar outside in the sunshine (that's what I'm going to do as soon as I finish writing this blog posting).

If you get stuck, send me an email or comment-I'm happy to help. And keep me posted on your progress!